i feel so messed up
this christmas sucks big time
all i want for christmas..
is a little family get together
just a simple little zi cha oso can
i dun yearn for turkey, logcakes, any wonderful food
just to eat happily tgt on this round little table
with full attendance
is that so hard?
yea, apprarently it is..

so many things happening at the same time
i really dun wish to care abt any..
friends, family, wadever there is
i really wonder when can we ever get to eat nicely tgt
dun tell me i have to wait..
wait till cny eve
i cant bear it..
breakfast lunch oready have to settle alone
now even dinner seem to be the case
i know they're tired aft work and all
and they didnt want it either
but i feel terrible..
yea, thinking of so many things makes me wanna tear

everyday
all alone
with 3 little darlings
vacumn floor, mop floor, wash clothes, hang clothes
lyk wad a maid does
but i not complaining abt this at all
i have my part to do too
i dun deny
juz sick of having to settle my own 3 meals every single day
with 10 bucks on my desktop everyday
im lyk totally left to fend for myself
phone calls to ask not abt me but whether i had done the hseworks
omg, im so tired
not physically
but mentally
i scare i can no longer take it anymore

because of these
it dampens my mood a lot
unwilling to step out of my hse
because of uncompleted hseworks
and naggings to be heard there after
well wadever it is
i really hope to get a break
from everything

now it seems..
that being with some of my friends then can it make me chill
all their jokes, laughter, stupid actions
all other stuffs..
PROJ, PBL, sch, shopping, exercising, chilling..
now even watching the tv,
seriously puts me off..