I am Michelle. Working with young children, crazy parents and people of different age.
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posted : Wednesday, February 17, 2010
title :
I just heard over the radio..
About lasting rltship.. Dj was talking about a book by Richard Templar - The Book Of Love I managed to catch the part on "Jealousy" and "Listening" A) Jealousy They talked about irrational jealousy. It means when yr partner is not around, outside, not at home.. You feel a pinch of jealousy.. It is gd and bad at the same time.. The problem is caused by you, because that irrationality comes from your mind.. You have to trust... Until proven that they are being unfaithful.. As for the receiving party... There are 2 choices you can make. 1. Insist that you never cheat, become more secretive and aggressive.. Yes you will stop all the bothering and all.. But the problem is not solved And worse of all, it will kill the rltship. 2. Be reassuring and help your partner find out the problem to the jealousy.. Talk, communicate and think.. Compromise is the word B) Listening We always listen to what we are being told We only listen to what is being said But what we need is to listen to what's NOT being said... Sometimes we beat about the bush but still nvr hit the main point Sometimes we dun say things cos it may hurt the other party Or we simply just dunno how to say it... Or just too tired to talk abt that issue anymore.. You dun succeed when you are able to sit down tgt and talk about what is being said You succeed when you are able to talk about things not being said This is when the problem can be magnified and solved eventually. Last but not least, Your partner is more important than your kids Remember this. Your partner have being your focus for over twenty odds years A lot of couples neglect their love for each other after they have children. No more long night talks No more strolls by the beach What we need though is not to find more time to spend with your partner.... Because in reality, with children and family, you dun have much time.. Instead, you should put your partner as the primary focus of your life. Responsibility for children are important and need to be done. But... Kids are temporary As they grow older, they need more time, more freedom... They move out of your "life" eventually when they get married and have family of their own.. This is reality, They said sometimes when they kids get married, the parents are devastated and start to get pick on their son/daughter-in-law... Cos they treat their children as their life and once they leave, they break down Always remember, that your partner is for life. |
Michelle Phua
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